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Hello, all! Sorry for the long absence; I lost my camera and all sorts of craziness happened. I am dating this for Easter Sunday because that's when I started writing this...it makes me feel better. ;-) Since Easter is primarily a religious holiday, what better day to post about Lolita and religion?
This post has been a cause of much internal debate recently. I don't want it to seem "preachy," nor "ranty," but since religion and lolita are such a large part of my life I feel no blog of mind would be complete without at least one post on the subject. I hope you will take this article for what it is: an insight into my feelings concerning lolita, my religion, and those around me.
Concerning Lolita and religion, I have felt for a while to be a bit of an outsider. I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. By today's standards, this is a rather conservative religion. Understandably, alternative fashion is looked as a bit strange. The extravagance of Lolita is often in contrast to the humble, modest lifestyle of many Latter-Day Saints. I live in an area where the Latter-Day Saint population is fairly dense, and often receive stares and comments. For the most part these don't bother me as much, however there have been comments made about my style affecting my career, ability to find a marriage partner, and family time. As a faithful Latter-Day Saint, I want to marry someone who holds the same standards as I do. I cannot imagine I am the only religious Lolita with these concerns; I have heard of Muslim, Jewish, and members of other conservative Christian religions who have had difficulty with families and friends who do not understand Lolita (and with incorporating religious practices with Lolita). I have prayed long and studied hard, finally reaching a reconciliation of sorts between my beliefs and Lolita (Author's note: I promise I'm not just trying to use big words; I'm trying to find the right words to convey my meaning. ;-P). I do not wear Lolita to church, as I believe it would draw attention to me and fashion and away from the worship that should be the primary focus. Since the standards of modesty for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints suggest skirts not higher than the knee and shirts with sleeves, I have a strict length requirement for any garment I purchase so that they come to at least mid-knee. Additionally, I do not wear JSKs without a blouse and always wear bloomers. I wear more Classic Lolita because I like it, but I would be lying to say that the toned-down look does not appeal to my religious sensibility as well. Thus, I am able to hold my head high in the religious community while still maintaining my love of Lolita fashion.
Ironically, maintaining my religiosity and holding my head high in the Lolita community is a bit of a problem. At the risk of overgeneralizing, it would seem from observation that a conservative belief system and Lolita do not "get on" well. When still a "new" Lolita (I am still fairly new, but I mean NEW new), I was delighted to find a young woman of the same religion as I. She lived in the same state, and I was excited to meet her. We became friends, and I still count her as very dear to me. However, I find myself uncomfortable around her for this reason: Whenever we are together, she constantly trash-talks many leaders and beliefs of our religion. She "regales" me with her political views and pokes fun at things I hold dear. Being--quite honestly--a shy person when it comes to speaking out about such things, and not wanting to force my beliefs on her or lose her friendship, I have kept quiet about it. Continuing on, I have found more Latter-Day Saint Lolitas, but most of them are (as one of them described herself) "bad Latter-Day Saints." I do not want to sound judgmental or like I am classifying their beliefs, for I do not know their reasons for the things they think and do. Suffice it to say, they are not...ultra orthodox Latter-Day Saints (if that makes any sense), and I am. Believe me that my beliefs are no "blind faith" decisions, they have been arrived at through very careful research, thought and prayer. However, my conservative faith also tends to be a problem when looking through the online Lolita forums. As a Latter-Day Saint, I do not believe in body piercings (excepting one pair of earrings for women), and so Lolitas with nose rings and such are very unattractive to me. I also believe that LGBT lifestyles and cross-dressing is morally wrong. Both of these opinions are VERY unpopular with the general egl community, to say the least. I would not force my beliefs on someone else unless asked what I thought, but I often shy away from discussions simply because I'm afraid to state my unpopular opinion. My beliefs are firm, and in the spirit of discussion people attack those...well, it tends to upset me (not yelling, swearing, etc...more like crying). So I feel like a bit of an outsider in the Lolita communities, as well. I do not hold any doubt that there are those that share at least some of my beliefs, nor that there are those who will be comfortable friends despite differences in belief. I look forward to meeting them, indeed I may have met some already.
So there you are. A very long essay to say a simple thing: I hold Lolita dear, hold my conservative Latter-Day Saint values more dear, and am keeping an uneasy peace between the two. It is not wholly comfortable, but nor is it impossible.
To The Reader: How, if at all, has your religious/belief system affected your Lolita style?
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yan_yu was perfectly elegant in offrand and homemade gothic!
